Woman In Mind: Susan's Dialogue

In Alan Ayckbourn's Woman In Mind, the play begins with Doctor Bill Windsor apparently speaking incomprehensibly as a result of Susan being hit by a rake. Although not essential to staging the play, the website is frequently asked what these lines mean in order to better deliver the intent of them.

Reprinted below is Alan Ayckbourn's own translation of the relevant 'incomprehensible' lines in the play alongside what the characters are actually saying.


Act 1 (first page)

All these lines are spoken by Bill Windsor:

Ah! Score ache.
Ah! You’re awake.

Wo! Won’t spiderslit up pikelet...
No! Don’t try to sit up quite yet.

Skater baby.
Later maybe.

Squeezy... squeezy...
Easy... easy...

Score grounds appeal cumquat doggy Martha had sick on the bed...
You’re bound to feel somewhat groggy after that hit on the head...

Squeezy, cow, squeezy...
Easy, now, easy...

Saul bite. Saul bite.
It’s all right. It’s all right.

Octer bin sir. Climb octer bin sir. Mrs sure pardon choose ‘un.
Doctor Windsor. I’m Doctor Windsor. This is your garden, Susan.

Choose ‘un, choose ’un. Pea squeak jinglish. Pie squeaking jinglish cow. Choose ‘un...
Susan, Susan. We speak English. I’m speaking English now. Susan.

Choose un...
Susan...

Act 2 (final page)

These lines are spoken by Susan:

... I grow hugh, summer few bald teddy know these two wonderful children, Lucy and Rick. I cannot tell you how heaply cowed siam.
Tinny beers a show. High december how rotten high trade fat haywood throw twig and throng hike hair share rents. Pie lank hod hat day lid! Hens, hang few saw paw up-short. Hang few. Hang few, hens, sizzle pie tart insole. Grey ice way chew...? Grey ice way...?
Hair growing, hens? Goosey? Gandy? Chair old? Hair shone? Tone show, fleas. Fleas, tone show. December bee? Choose ‘un. December choosey. December bee? December bee?


... I know you, some of you already know these two wonderful children, Lucy and Rick. I cannot tell you how deeply proud I am. Many years ago. I remember how often I prayed that they would grow big and strong like their parents. I thank God that they did! Friends, thank you for your support. Thank you. Thank you, friends, with all my heart and soul. May I say to you...? May I say...? Where are you going, friends? Lucy? Andy? Gerald? Where’ve you gone? Don’t go, please. Please, don’t go. Remember me? Susan? Remember Susie? Remember me? Remember me?

Copyright: Haydonning Ltd. Please do not reproduce without permission of the copyright holder.

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